Eight Reasons Why Women Get Married

The Bond Of Companionship

We, as humans are social animals and require the company of our fellow human beings in our lives. It might be the care and affection of our parents, the camaraderie between siblings, the shared goodwill between friends or the passion between lovers. In all the various stages of our lives, we are flanked by the company of fellow human beings.

Among all these relationships and interactions, we have only one which is the longest and most enduring. That is the relationship between two married people. That is the only relation which has the potential of a life-long commitment, keeping the divorce rates aside. You will not have the company of your parents for your entire life. Friends and siblings will make a life of their own and get busy. The only bond that you can potentially have for a lifetime is that of matrimony.

Shared Worries Are Always Halved

We undergo a lot of worries in our lifetime and once we become older we are reluctant to burden our parents with our problems. Even though friends help by their support and encouragement, again we don’t like to bother them too much.

But it is a different matter with a spouse; you can share even the minutest of your worries and the biggest of your concerns with them. It is a moot point whether your spouse is able to help you or not, but the fact that you have someone to share your problems with, lessens your burdens by half.

The Romance Of A Life Time

Although one might loath to be tied with one particular person for their entire lives, there is another perspective to it as well. A person might talk about enjoying their single status with a multitude of lovers and partners instead of being ties to one, but this is the talk of youth and beauty.

But it is another matter when you are in your middle ages without your beauty or grace and find yourself longing for a warm body next to you, to share the cold nights of winter. Whoever has experienced the bliss of being in love realizes the feeling of having that person beside them forever. There is nothing to take away the romance of a life-time that a marriage promises, if we are wise enough to see them.

Marriage Will Make You Happier And Healthier

Now, this is a fact which has been proven after a lot of research and surveys. It has been found after many studies that married people are on an average happier and as a result healthier, than their single counterparts. Before, you start laughing at the joke, it is in fact true that while there might be insurmountable amount of problems in a marriage, when you are happily married, it is one of the best experiences.

The Practicalities Of Life

One might argue that companionship and a life-time of romance can also be found without marriage and in a live-in relationship. Although that is true, but in many countries, live-in relationship is not legally recognized and even if it is, you don’t get the benefits that you get as a married couple.

There are a lot of legal and official benefits to be had as a married person and it is a practical reason to be tied to the institution. It saves you a lot of official and legal hassles, you can get a loan for your house or your car more easily. Sometimes, it is even easier to rent a place if you are married.

It might seem unfair, but unfortunately, these are the rules. So, it might be a practical reason for you to get married, which becomes easier if you are already in a live-in relationship. After all it is just a matter of signing some papers.

The Sense Of Security

Although a live-in relationship is great, there are some places where a marriage takes away the cake. You will always have a sense of the relationship being temporary in case of a live-in together whereas marriage gives you a sense of permanence. Although, it might seem ludicrous to some, marriage does help a person stay faithful because of the sanctimony of the vows.

Even though there are no guarantees of a marriage staying forever, most people enter a live-in relationship with the feeling that it is temporary. A marriage can provide a lot of security to a woman, especially if she is not financially independent. Just because the divorce rates are high, doesn’t mean that you should enter a married life with a fatalistic attitude.

Marriage Makes You A Responsible Person

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You might already be a reliable and consistent person, but if you are not, being married has a high chance of making you become a responsible person. You will learn age-old values of compromise and selflessness and though it might sound like a horrible idea, in reality it also helps you know what kind of a person you really are. The more you get inside the realms of matrimony, the closer you come to understand yourself and your spouse.

Love

Perhaps the most important of all reasons why women get married is the love they feel toward their future husbands. Even when financial, religious, legal or biological considerations factor into a woman's decision to get married, love and the desire to link herself to another are the most important drivers. In every society and in any context, marriage is a declaration of solidarity and a public commitment of love and support of between a husband and wife.

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6 Tips To Find And Believe In Love again

 

When a relationship ends in heartbreak, your world seems to have come to an end. No matter how you lose a partner, through a betrayal, divorce or death, at the time you feel as if you will never be able to find love again. It is quite natural to feel bereft and alone and stop believing in love at the time.

But while it is true that a wonderful period of your life seems to have come to an end, it does not mean that the rest of your life needs to end too. Life goes on, no matter what happens and the significant lesson we need to learn from that message is to move on, no matter what has happened. Your heart has been bruised but rest assured, it is not broken, it just feels like that.

You should genuinely love yourself and if you do, you will realize that you can find love again. And it is important to go on loving, because there is nothing in this world which makes life more beautiful than love.

You might feel insecure and scared to venture into the same path again, but if your trust your instincts and keep yourself open to the prospect of finding love again, you will do so. Depending on your own circumstances of loss, there are some steps that you can take in order to help you find love and happiness again.

Accept Your Loss

The most difficult part after heartbreak is the prospect of accepting what you have lost and the fact that it is never going to be back. There still seems to be that faint hope lurking in the minds that maybe things will be better. Well, things will definitely be better, but does not necessarily mean that it will be with the same person.

You have to accept your loss, in order to let anything else come into your life. Till the moment you cling to the memories and refuse to let go, till then you are not allowing the universe to make anything happen for you. When we lose a loved one through death, the suddenness and unexpected shock of the incident does not allow us to think about our lives at all.

But then, our loved ones would not want us to put our lives on hold indefinitely just because we feel too guilty to be happy. There should be a grieving period where you come to terms with your losses, but that should not go on, forever.

Be Open To Love

You have to be open to receiving love, for love to happen in the first place. If you refuse to let yourself be receptive towards love and keep your mind and heart locked away, you will not be able to receive anything from the universe.

Learn To Let Go Of The Guilt And Love Yourself

When we are left broken-hearted, most of the times we feel inferior and insecure about ourselves. It is a normal feeling because of the fact that we were dumped and so the mind automatically starts finding fault within ourselves.

While normal, it is not a healthy feeling and you should start letting go of any feelings of inferiority or guilt. The most important person in your life is you, and you have to learn to love yourself first in order to love someone elseds, you will feel lonely and abandoned. The faster you start socializing and having some sort of involvement with the outside life, the faster you will be able to move on in life. And it always helps to share your grief with someone who cares for you; after all, it will only be lessened.

Learn To Let Go Of The Guilt And Love Yourself

When we are left broken-hearted, most of the times we feel inferior and insecure about ourselves. It is a normal feeling because of the fact that we were dumped and so the mind automatically starts finding fault within ourselves.

While normal, it is not a healthy feeling and you should start letting go of any feelings of inferiority or guilt. The most important person in your life is you, and you have to learn to love yourself first in order to love someone else. So go ahead and indulge in some self-love and spiritual healing and set for the road to recovery.

Don’t Jump Into Anything

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This might sound contradictory when I have been harping about the importance of being open to love. The fact is that there is a time for everything , and jumping into another relationship right after the last one, to get rid of your loneliness is the wrong thing.

You need to come to terms with your loss first, otherwise it will be a rebound love and hence a failure. And rebound love affairs are very common and unfortunately do not have any distinct symptoms. So, you should be over your previous relationship completely, for you to discover genuine love again.

Don’t Make Comparisons

If you seem to have found your new partner and don’t think he matches up to your ex, stop right there. Nobody is perfect, and we always seem to think highly of the things in our past and paint a rosy picture about them. In any case, no two people are alike and just because your new partner has opposite traits from your ex, does not mean that he is bad.

The bottom line is that you should not be making comparisons between two people in your lives which is extremely unfair to your new love. If there is a quality which you have always hated then it is a fair deal to reject the person but not because he does not match up to your ex’s standards. It should be your standards, not somebody else’s.

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13 Signs You're Falling in Love

13. You cant stay mad at him or her for more than a minute or two. You actually have to try hard to stay mad.



12. You will read his or her IMs over and over and over again.



11. You'll walk really really slow while your with him or her.



10. You'l feel shy whenever your with him or her.



9. While thinking about him or her, your heart will be faster and faster.

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8. By listening to his or her voice, you smile for no reason.



7. While looking at him or her, you cant see any other people around you.. only that one person.



6. You'll start istening to slow songs.



5. He or she will become all you think about.



4. You'll get high just by their smell.



3. You'll realize you're always smiling to yourself when you think of them.



2. You'll do anything for him or her.



1. While reading this there was one person on your mind the whole time<3


now, you dont need to do anything with this, but it made you think. when you tell someone "i love you" do you really mean it? think about it..

Top Tips for Deal With a Broken Heart

 

It’s at time hard to come up with the best way to deal with a break up especially when you are still feeling raw. Rejection is painful and leads to frustrations, anger and a lot of anguish.

You need to know how to deal with these emotions within the first weeks after a break up. This ensures that you remain with your respect and dignity as you recover from the pain. This is good because life must go on and you can find another person to love when the pain is over.

Top Tips :

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1) Rest in the following weeks after the break up, you should only do what you feel is necessary. Don’t strain yourself because you are already mentally and emotionally strained. Give yourself time to recover from the loss and also mourn. During such a time, you will feel lonely, sad and hopeless. It’s normal.

2) Eat a healthy diet, get enough rest and do not quit your job or classes. You will feel tempted to sleep all day, but you must work to achieve your goals in life. Take good care of your personal appearance and know that you still have a life to live. This ensures that when the pain subsides, you still have your life in control and you can move on properly.

3) You should not forget that you can still live even without your partner. Try to remember things that you can do on your own and also your strengths. You can write some positive points about yourself on a piece of paper. This can be a good strategy to learn on how to get over a break up and a good reason keep yourself aware that you are still lovable.

4) You should avoid seeing your ex as much you can in order to rebuild sense of identity. This may not be easy, but it is possible. This has been recommended by many experts on how to deal with a break up. Separation will allow the two of you to think if you need to get together or part ways forever.

5) You need a friend or a relative to talk to when you are very lonely. This will help you stop thinking about ways to revenge against your ex. Doing some things will only land you in more trouble which will make your life even more sad. Avoid acting on crazy thoughts and talk to someone to calm down.

When you try to figure out how to deal with a break up, remember that you need enough time before moving on. Do things that you have always enjoyed doing before the break up and do not get into another relationship to forget your ex. This can put you into more problems.

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Ten Things for Get Over a Break Up

 

Breakups can be rough, and they can be amicable; no matter what, no one really wants to go through them. The loss of your relationship can bring on intense heartache. But if you're looking for some help getting through it and want some suggestions about how to make it a little easier, read on...

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Steps : 1. Don't rethink your decision. If the breakup was your decision, keep in mind that only thinking about all the good times you had with your partner may cause you to forget the reasons why you broke it off. By the same token, try not to second-guess the situation if the decision to end things was not yours. It's very common to romanticize the good parts of the relationship, convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren't so bad after all, that maybe you could just live with them. Or that maybe if your ex would know just how you feel, he/she wouldn't want to break up after all. Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and work on moving forward.

2. Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. Go ahead and mull it over, as many times as necessary, within reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up. Even if it sometimes seems as if there wasn't a good reason, there certainly was one - and probably more than one. Understand that you enjoyed being together for a while, but if the relationship was not what both you and your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this case, better sooner than later. Thinking about the reasons why it ended can make it much clearer to you that it takes two people to start a relationship, but just one discordant person is enough to end it. It may also help you avoid many missteps in the future if you can identify areas where you contributed to the demise of the relationship.

3. Keep your space. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the breakup. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages, no Facebook, and no IMs - not necessarily as a permanent measure, but until you feel that you can converse with him/her on a purely platonic level, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive). If he/she tries to convince you to see him/her, ask yourself honestly what the point would be. If you're reliving the past by seeing him/her, it's not hard to get caught up in the moment and it will be harder to let go again. You may have to have some contact in order to deal with the practical aspects of things like moving out, signing papers, etc., but try to limit this to what's absolutely necessary, and then keep such calls/meetings short and civil.

 

4. Cope with the pain appropriately. It's okay to feel like you have messed up - accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that you did your best and you're not the only one who made mistakes. Of course, a stage of denial is completely natural, but acceptance is the key to being able to start moving on.

5. Don't think you're unlikeable! There are plenty of fish in the sea If he/she wasn't the fish, your emotions are telling you. Find someone else. Remember there will always be someone out there for you!

6. Talk to your friends. You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net. But be wary of friends trying to connect you with another person right now, this is not what you need. If you feel you are burdening your friends, consider making an appointment with a counselor or psychologist. These thoughts are irrational and are generally an early indicator of depression.

7. Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or try writing poems. The most important thing is to be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to understand valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.

8. Out with the old, in with the new. A breakup can signify a new beginning. Therefore, cleaning and organizing your personal space will leave you feeling refreshed and prepared for the new things to come. A mess can be overwhelming and depressing, and will just add to your stress level. The added bonus is that keeping busy with tidying your space doesn't require a lot of brain power, but does require just enough focus to keep you from recycling pain. Occupying yourself with such tasks designed to make your life better and easier will also occupy your mind enough to help you through the residual pain. Clean your room, get some new posters, clean up the icons on your PC desktop. As insignificant as cleaning up sounds, it'll make you feel better.

 

9. Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, signing up for that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that a relationship is one part of life, but even when you are in one, there are personal pleasures that you can always enjoy on your own. Indulge in those things now. As they say, the best revenge is living well. Enjoy being single.

10. Stop thinking of him! If he's not on your mind you'll get over him really fast! It might be hard to stop thinking about him but the only way to get over him is NOT to to start dating some one else.

Finally we must all remember a heart break or an emotional set back only gives us a chance learn more from life and move on. Our set backs make us grow and strengthen our relationships with our family members as we know that in times of crisis it is our own people who give us the love and moral support to carry on.

Last but not the least it is our positive attitude in life which carries us forward and equips us to face life’s challenges with courage and determination   

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Best Short Poems About Love and Friendship

 

You Will Be In My Thoughts

Should you ever feel alone
If finding times hard to bare
You can still count on me
Know I shall always be there

You shall be in my thoughts
If you are hurting, I feel it too
It is my friendship sincerity
I shall forever share with you

There each step of the way
My support you can depend
I will listen if you need me
With love your forever friend

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The Reason I Love You

The Smell of your hair
The taste of your kiss
These are the things
That I will always miss

The sound of your voice
The feel of your hand
They affect me in ways
You could never understand

The love in your heart
The peace in your eyes
They make me feel
Like I want to cry

You are a gift
That God gave to me
And I can just feel
That we are meant to be

I'll love you forever
I hope you do too
For it's only a short while
Before we say "I do"

I miss you my friend
I miss you more than words can say,
I think of you each single day,
I love you like my sister and friend,
I'll always love you til the end,

The more i think, the more i weep,
at least i have memories to keep,
I know we'll meet again soon enough,
but i can't wait cos this is tough,

every time i see a pretty flower,
i think of you then my eyes shower,
every time i take out my photo pile,
i look at you and me and i smile,

all the memories i hold in my heart,
no need to miss you, we're not apart.

Picture in a Frame

Your pictures are in frames, memories on my wall,
To have you here again, I would give them all.
A picture cannot capture, the beauty of your skin,
Or the radiating glow I'd feel, whenever you would grin.
They cannot talk or sing to me, the way you used to do,
I'll never love another, the way that I love you.


So I look at you my soul mate, a picture in a frame,
I cry my tears of sorrow, cause I feel God's to blame.
He came and took the one, who made my life complete,
And all that's left are pictures, and an empty seat.
I also have a feeling down, deep within my heart,
It's the pain of loneliness, since we've been apart.


I try not to let the grief, just overcome my day,
I'll blow a kiss to heaven and send it when I pray.
I'll ask God to free me now, from a world so blue,
To take me up to Paradise, so I can fly with you.
I'm waiting for the day you come, calling out my name,
Until then I'll be staring at, your picture in a frame.

A Poem's Kiss

A Poem's kiss
Flows from my pen
To your heart
Lingering, longing
As a silent embrace
Though we're apart

Our words touch
As lips, softly searching
Verses thrill the soul
Separation of One
In lonely sky blue
Until we are whole

Sorrows in stanzas
Writ with abundance
As tears frozen in time
Deep and lonely
'Til ocean is river
And you become mine

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4 Steps to Fall in Love and Stay in Love

Falling in love is a wonderful thing and it does not seem to take any effort when you fall in love with the right person. However, staying in love does take some effort from both partners because each individual is different. The majority of couples blame each other when something goes missing in their relationship, but they seem to forget that it takes two to form a couple. In order for two people to fall in love and stay in love they have to be able to understand that love is not always happiness and that sadness is a small part of love. When we truly love a person, we will experience both feelings, and it is the real proof of the sincerity and closeness of our relashionship.

Steps :

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1. Always put your partner's needs in the same line with yours. In other words keep a balance so both needs are met. If you make your relationship only about you, your partner will feel neglected, so try to put yourself in their shoes.

2. There is a right person for everybody waiting to be found. Most of the time a person will know when they meet their half right away but that is not always the case for everybody. When you have a good relationship focus only on the good things, do not look for flaws in your partner because nobody is perfect. Once you will do this, your patner will love you even more.

3. Plan things together. Make sure that you spend a lot of time with your partner and get to share your thoughts and problems with them. Become best friends because close friendships are long-lasting in contrast to just being friends and sharing your secrets with somebody else. Remember that the secrets bond people forever.

4. Make sure you take a romantic trip once in a while to keep the romance alive and flowing. A romantic getaway is always a perfect surprise and experience for both parties and of course it does not need to be expensive. Everytime couples take trips together they find new and exciting things about each other.

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10 Ways to Trust Your Boyfriend

Trust is a key element in having a strong and lasting relationship with your boyfriend. Without trust, your relationship will slowly fall apart.

How do you regain trust that has slipped away because of little things that niggle you or cause you to feel he isn't as responsive or attentive as perhaps he ought to be? In this article, you'll have the chance to explore the ways in which you can learn to trust you boyfriend and move into another stage of your relationship.

Steps :

1. Acknowledge why you don't trust your boyfriend. There can be a number of reasons, from not hearing from him, lack of contact, or something someone else said. Your own instinct tends to add its overlay of worry too, adding up things that may or may not be important. Some of the reasons why your trust may be tested include: 

• You have been privy to a recent revelation about him that casts suspicions on his trustworthiness
• You have had an argument with him and it not only left you feeling sour but left many questions unanswered
• You feel that he has betrayed your trust in him by something that he has done, said, or openly acknowledged to you
• You feel that he is slipping away - he calls you less, he's not coming around to see you much, or he seems to be seeing other people without asking you along too
• You have some other reason for not trusting him.

2. Take it slowly and calm yourself down. Paranoia over the fact that you don't trust him will can cause you to deepen your mistrust rather than to want to seek some valid answers. Whatever has happened to set off your suspicions, it's more than likely that you don't have the full story or perhaps you're not even seeing all the relevant events properly. Before you discard all trust, it is important to do some thinking, questioning, and following up, to get the story straight. Focus on what is at stake and the importance of the relationship, no matter how hard it may seem and no matter how tempting it is to prefer assuming a negative viewpoint of him.

3. Think about your past relationships. Have they ended in heartbreak, mistrust, and anger? If so, you may be primed to be suspicious about a subsequent boyfriend's motives. Having someone betray your trust hurts, and can carry on into your next relationship. If this is the case, talk to your boyfriend about your past relationship (or relationships) and tell him what happened and why it hurt you. Not only will doing this increase your trust in him, he will be able to understand what lies behind your paranoia. Depending on the type of guy he is, he may even be able to help you work through the challenge.

• If you're stuck in an emotional situation where you don't feel that you're able to move past the hurt, this can be a good time to speak with a therapist or counselor in order to mend the wounds of any past relationship that might have caused you to feel paranoid or anxious about current relationships.

4. Talk to him about why you don't trust him. Use tact, but be honest with him. Guys prefer blatant honesty to constantly avoiding, embellishing, or twisting the subject. If you talk to him about it, not only will it make you feel better, but his trust in you will be likely t increase because he'll feel that, even though you don't trust him, you had to courage to come out and talk to him about it anyway. Whatever his response, your courage in speaking so clearly makes you a very good and honest person.

  5. Go the extra mile to increase his trust in you. Be honest, caring, understanding, and trustworthy yourself, before asking someone to do the same. Don't gossip about him and don't be condescending or negative about him to other people; it will get back to him and will only make things harder for you to fix. Open up a little more yourself; this is especially important if you've been keeping your concerns and most intimate self from him. Keep the line of communication open, and let him know what is going on in your life. You don't have to tell him about every time that you stub your toe, or what you ate for breakfast yesterday, but do tell him things. Tell him funny (or sad) stories about your past and encourage him to do the same.

6.  Learn to let little things go. This step is one that is easily overlooked but is vital. Remember that there may be genuine, non-harmful, and even laugh-worthy reasons for why things have happened that caused you to mistrust him. What is important to a guy may not be what is important to a girl, and he may simply have thought nothing of it, while you're busy blowing it all out of proportion. A simple request to explain the situation will suffice in that case. Forgetfulness is a big one with many guys. It's unintentional but it can be infuriating. For example, maybe he just forgot to tell you that he was going out with his friends the same night you wanted to borrow his car. Maybe you didn't tell him, so there was no reason for him to even get that there was an issue; even if you did tell him, maybe it was when he was focused on doing something and he just didn't hear you properly. Whatever the reason, find it out from him before assuming it from within. You'll know whether or not the answers you're given ring true and you can work from there. If they do ring true, let go, let go, let go! Give him the benefit of the doubt and don't assume that he is cheating on you or even not telling you things. Remember that your boyfriend is only human, and will forget things without meaning to. If it was important, remind him gently instead of cussing him out. If it wasn't important, let it go and remember that the little thing fall-outs that go un-blamed can prevent the enormous fight that would have resulted otherwise.

  7. Hold yourself to the same standard before unleashing your anger. Have you always remembered absolutely everything? Do you always listen with absolute clarity? Do you like it when someone suggests that you're not to be trusted? It is important to be compassionate in a relationship and that includes placing yourself into the situation he's in before you approach it. At all times, remain calm and level-headed; shouting and berating any person does nothing to change the situation and can simply deepen the problems.

8. Take the time to create a firm and lasting bond with your boyfriend. Go on fun and romantic dates with each other, engage in activities outside of the bedroom, and don't be serious all of the time. Happier relationships are ones in which there is a lot of room to move, a lot of laughter, and a great deal of trust. In fact, the more trust, often the tighter the bond you'll create. The less trust, the more likely your relationship will end up laden with suspicion and dysfunctional behaviors. Embrace your inner (and more trusting) child, recognize the little, sweet things in life, and help your boyfriend to do the same:

• Go to the park and have him push you on the swings.
• Have a pillow or tickle fight.
• Go to a restaurant and share a plate or a drink with each other.
• Visit a zoo and have fun looking at all the animals.
• Tease him, ever so gently, and let him tease you back. Couples that can handle teasing one another in a fun, kind way, tend to be couples that can handle each other's criticism and enjoy each other's love.

9. Learn the art of small talk. Sometimes telling each other "I love you, I love you, I love you, coochy coo" becomes a little too demanding and one-way. And too many deep and meaningfuls can make each of you resent hanging around each other for fear of when the "next big crisis" is about to crop up. Brighten up your time together by indulging in small talk as a way of filling in the moments where you're just spending time together in each other's company, without expecting anything of one another.

 

10. Last but not least, realize what you gain by loving in trust. While trust does expose us to the potential of another person's betrayal, the opposite is worse – to never trust a person and to never learn what it feels like to have that trust reciprocated and blossom would be unthinkable. Acknowledge that trust encompasses fear of being hurt and yet understand that not being trustful will end up harming your happiness, rather than guarding it. And trust can protect your health; research has shown that people with greater trust are healthier and more humorous! Realize that trust doesn't only let go of the other person, it also lets go of you, opening yourself to the possibilities that this time, you have connected with someone who will reciprocate the trust you've placed in him. And if you're still unconvinced, keep in mind these lovely words from Dick Sutphen:

 "Love me without fear,
Trust me without questioning,
Need me without demanding,
Want me without restrictions,
Accept me without change,
Desire me without inhibitions,
For a love so free...
Will never fly away."

 

Tips :

• Try to be understanding and accepting when the little things come up. Your boyfriend will notice and appreciate the special relationship that the two of your share all the more for it.

Careful :

• Be aware of what your boyfriend is doing and don't be completely blind to his fall-outs. In other words, be trusting but not naive. Trust is a two-way reality. Give of it but don't allow it to be abused. If he is behaving suspiciously and strangely, talk to your girlfriends, or someone you know you can trust about your concerns. Having a sounding board of someone else can help you to work through the concerns realistically.
• If he really is cheating on you, find someone who is more deserving of your trust. If you feel like this is happening again and again to you, revise the type of boyfriend you keep falling for.

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Be Friends After a Breakup

This post is for when and how to be friends after a break-up, when you might have children. This article will help you have friends and be and feel great.

Steps :

1. You can't change the father of your child. If he is a good father to your children, do not ignore his phone calls. He may want to speak to/about his child. Put your differences aside, if you really love your son/daughter.

2. If he tries to get to you by telling you he misses you, let him have his moment of pleasure. But make your intentions be perfectly clear- be truthful! Remind him that the only reason you want to stay friends is for the sake of your child/children.

3. There is little to no reason for you to argue with your ex about how, what, whena and who did what wrong. The past is the past, you need to move on with a different life experience.

4. You and your ex should be chatting like nothing ever happened between the two of you. Don't give in and let him/her try to get to your soft spot, sa that you could move back in. Sometimes it happens, but it's not the best way out. Life is very challenging.

5. An important thing to remember is to never show your ex that you are vulnerable. You give them a weapon, and let them have their way with you.

Tips :

• These are simply common things to look out for, but I admit, as you should know, everyone is different.

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10 Tips for Get the Perfect Valentine's Gift for Your Boyfriend

Still looking for the perfect Valentine's gift for your boyfriend but worried you'll be swept away by Valentine's mania? Here are some tips on creating more personalized, caring Valentine's gifts for the special boy or man in your life that will show just how much you care

Steps

1. Find out what his love language is. People value different things when it comes to expressions of love. If your boyfriend feels most loved when he hears words of affirmation or receives physical touch, he will appreciate loving words or a back rub more than a gift wrapped bottle of after shave. If he values acts of service, think about something you can do for him -- perhaps a project or chore he's been putting off -- and do it!

 

2. Ask first! About a week before Valentine's Day, talk to your boyfriend and ask if he has anything special in mind that he'd appreciate. Don't badger him; just ask pointedly once and work from his answers. If he can't give you any, suggest that he thinks about it for a bit and to get back to you later that same day. If he doesn't have any ideas, don't pressure him!

3. Match your gift ideas with the type of romancing he fancies. Does he really appreciate a romantic approach that will involve booking a special restaurant for a five-course meal or filling the swimming pool with rose petals? Or is he more comfortable with just the usual night on the town with lots of laughter and favorite beers as the two of you pub crawl? Take advantage of what you know about him to craft the ultimate gift or experience.

4. Do something for him rather than giving him something. If he has long wanted his hair dyed black, you could buy him some hair dye and prepare a home salon and dye it for him. Make sure you feel confident enough to get it right! You could also do this for home pedicures, massages, a yoga lesson, being a style assistant for a new look, etc. - anything you have said you'd get around to helping him do or learn some day.

5. Go homemade. It's not just about buying stuff. Valentine's is really about showing that you care. Make your boyfriend a card that says how much you love him. Write a poem or some sweet prose. Anything to say how much you care about him and the reasons why. Many people just love being told the exact reasons why they matter so much; this can be the best gift of all.

6. Give a kiss for a gift! Guys sometimes would just like a passionate kiss. If you haven't given him one yet, wow, this will be special. But most of you will have already kissed; so it's how you present the kiss that matters. Take him somewhere unique and make the kiss something out of the ordinary. For example, take a trip up a cable car, take him in your arms in the cable car and say: "We are kissing on top of this mountain in a cable car because you put me on top of the world, I love you completely". Kiss so long that the crowd claps you both. 

7. Bake something for your sweetheart. Bake some heart-shaped cookies with hundreds and thousands and "I love you" printed on them in icing. Arrange in a box and present it to him with a card. 

8. Stock the bar or man cave. Stock up your boyfriend's favorite drink supplies as a nice surprise. Be sure to add some snack food treats as well, and perhaps even a book on making cocktails or the history of beer. You might also like to consider something he can hang in the bar, such as autographed sports, TV, or movie star memorabilia.

9. Decorate a photo of the two of you. Choose a perfect photo of the two of you, decorate a frame for it and write a little something to go with it, including why this photo means a lot to you. This is a very personalized and caring gift. You can even make a wallet-sized one and include a new wallet if you've got a good idea what sort of wallet he'd like. Put a good luck heart or coin in it as well.

10.  If you're out of ideas try some traditional stand-bys:

• Chocolates. Go for dark chocolates with strong flavors like rum and raisin, chili peppers, or peppercorns.
• A sweater or a t-shirt from a favorite brand or store.
• A subscription to a sports or business magazine you know he'll enjoy reading.
• A selection of his favorite movies. Check what he has already before buying though.
• A watch. Have it engraved with love from you. This suits the more serious couple.
• Grooming products. Help him to stay looking his best.
• Boxer shorts. There might be a hint tied up in this type of gift!
• Lingerie, let him unwrap it and then you wear it, just for him. Remember, men are visual creatures.

Tips

• Guys don't usually like glass, because that's a "guy-give-girl" thing.
• If he loves you that much, anything you do as he will love with all his heart and still give you kisses and hugs afterwards.
• Pay attention to his hobbies and activities. Guys are not always about drinking and sports. If he's into model planes, trains or ships, talk to the staff at the hobby shop he usually gets his supplies and find out what he's always looking at. Get him to show you his setup and plans, then get him something that's on his list without you having asked for something specific. Same thing if he collects comics or plays roleplaying games. A new game book or supplement can lead to an entire weekend of fun for both of you.
• A man who reads may appreciate a bookstore gift certificate.
• Many men like gadgets, especially multi-tool pocket knives and other knives. Find out if he collects these or likes them, watch him when you pass displays while going out shopping for something else. That can be a very romantic gift. You may find him using it on your behalf next time a bottle needs opening or something needs to be fixed!

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Snag Your Perfect NYE Date

It’s hard to believe, but 2011 is right around the corner.  With parties galore, you’re ready to ring in the New Year with the perfect date. Only problem? You haven’t exactly figured out who that might be. Don’t fret girl, we’ve got it all figured out for ya.

                 

Your BGF

You and your BGF are like two peas in a pod. When you’re hanging out, he always makes you LOL. But even though he’s jokester, you know for a fact he’s always got your back.

Why he’s perfect: So much for having to worry about awkward silences with your plus one. Since you get eachother already, you’re setting yourself up for a stress-less evening, leaving plenty of time to relax and have fun with friends. 

How to ask him: Skip stressing about finding a party pal and give your BGF a call. Tell him you’re in need of a date and, instead of trying to impress your crush, you’d rather casually go with him (he IS, after all, your best boy bud). He’s always been there when you needed him before, so why would this be any different? Just leave the midnight smooching to a simple peck on the cheek at most. Don’t want to start the year off on an awkward foot now, do ya?

 

The cutie from class

It’s a good thing you’re acing math because the only thing you’ve been able to focus on is that hottie in the front row. He seems nice and is good at math too, not to mention, his baby blue eyes make you melt.  Um, Taylor Lautner, who?

Why he’s perfect: This is a great chance to get to know your crush. From how he spent the holidays to plans for 2011, you’ll have tons of things to chat about. Even better, with tons of other people there, you don’t have to worry about the stress of a one-on-one date.

How to ask him: Get up the guts to ask this cutie to the NYE party in person. Friends on Facebook? Shoot him a quick message, asking if he wants to grab pizza with some other buds this week. Yeah, it’ll be nerve-racking, but it’ll show him you’re interested and not too shy to talk. 

Your BF

You and your BF are a match made in heaven. You’ve been together for a while and he’s always the perfect date to any occasion. You wouldn’t want anyone besides your Romeo by your side.

Why he’s perfect: For one thing, you don’t have to worry about getting a rejection to your invite. Second, you’ll get to start the New Year with a smooch from someone special. Can’t get much better than that!

How to ask him: Obviously, he already knows he’s your go-to dude, but try asking him to the party in a special way to mix things up a tad. Slip a note into his pocket while your hanging on the couch watching a DVD or spell it out in a game of Scrabble.  Whatever you do, it’s sure to make him smile.

*NYE = New Years Eve

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5 Gifts for Your Favorite Guy

Whether he’s your BGF, your crush, your boyfriend or your brother, we’ve got five gifts he’ll be sure to love.

Lend a helping hand

What guy doesn’t love a li’l potty humor? Experience says not a one. This smartphone stand is super-handy, practical and pretty funny, we’ve got to admit.

iPlunge Phone Stand, $5.99, perpetualkid.com 

The best non-required reading ever

Shopping for the class clown? Toss out the clown noses and whoopee cushions in favor of this top gift pick that’ll let him learn from—and laugh with—some of the best pranksters in the nation.

Causing a Scene: Extraordinary Pranks in Ordinary Places with Improv Everywhere, $13.59, amazon.com 

Rock out

Crushin’ on a music man? Get him an instrument he can take on the go. And with this electric finger drums set, he can write ya a song and play it back, thanks to the record feature. Groovy!

Finger Drums Tabletop Electric Drum Set, $18.95, vat19.com 

Build it

Boys like to throw things, build things and break things. None of this is news, right? Indulge his inner child with a DIY catapult set. Better watch out once he’s ready to load. This sucker’s got a 15’ range.

Catapult Set, $23.95, discoverthis.com 

Bake it

Appeal to his stomach and his secret desire to become a ninja by whipping up a batch of ninjabread men. These too-cute—ahem, we mean manly—cookie cutters will make that crush of yours see just how cool you are.

NinjaBread Men Cookie Cutters, $9.95, DannaBananas.com

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Why Do We Fall Out of Love

“I don’t love you anymore.” It’s one of the worst sentences a person can hear, especially when it comes out of the blue in the middle of what you thought was a good relationship. You thought things were moving along nicely and suddenly they hit you with the revelation that they’re not that into you anymore. Why would this happen? How is it possible? Is there something you could have done to prevent it? Here’s the harsh truth: a surprise break-up is only a surprise for the one getting dumped. Here are some likely reasons for why your sweetie gave you the boot.

1. They’re Bored
One major reason why someone falls out of love is sheer boredom. In fact, in the 2010 Great Male Survey, askmen.com readers cited this as the number one reason why their girlfriends left them. When you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, it’s easy to start taking things for granted and slipping into a routine that is comfortable and boring. Particularly during the college years, people want to see and do new things all the time. They want to get their hands dirty, make a few mistakes and really let loose. If you can’t keep up, you may be in danger of getting left in the dust.

2. They feel neglected
You may think that you’re doing enough to make your partner feel appreciated and loved, but unfortunately he/she may be feeling differently. Especially with girls, as they are growing up, they pick up the incredibly annoying habit of pouting instead of talking when something is bothering them. Yes, it’s infantile and unproductive when your sweetie fails to talk about her insecurities, but she puts up with plenty of your unappealing idiosyncrasies too. A.K. Boyle, PhD, offers the best --and simplest-- solution in his article “Get the Love You Need:” do what you think is enough to keep him or her happy—and then do some more.


3. There’s someone else
Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what makes someone fall out of love, but in the case of the other Mman/woman, the reason is clear. Most of the time, a person who is happy in her/his relationship won’t go out looking for a replacement, but love (or lust) happens in unexpected of places, and is especially easy to find on a campus full of like-minded singles. It is never an easy thing to deal with when your partner falls for someone else and the chance of a solution that doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings is virtually nonexistent.

4. You grow apart
We all change as time goes by, and in college, we change quickly. Sometimes the person you got together with becomes someone you don’t recognize after a while. “A person’s views and desires on things like goals, priorities, integrity and relationships often alters significantly during the college years, even changing from month to month,” writes A.W. Chickering in his book, “Education and Identity”.” It’s possible that the reason your sweetheart is falling out of love is simply that their needs, priorities and goals are different than they were when you started dating. Or, perhaps you’re the one who’s changed.

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Ciri-Ciri Pria Berselingkuh

Dia lebih perhatian dari biasanya.
Ini karena dia merasa bersalah kepada Anda. Namun, perhatian tersebut perlahan-lahan akan berkurang dan akhirnya menghilang setelah perselingkuhan semakin dalam.

Dia mulai menghujani Anda dengan hadiah
Sama seperti poin pertama, ini dilakukannya karena merasa bersalah telah menghianati Anda. Dengan memberikan hadiah-hadiah itulah ia bisa mengatasi rasa bersalah.

Tingkah lakunya membuat Anda merasa ada sesuatu yang tidak beres
Percayailah insting Anda. Tidak peduli dengan insting tersebut sama saja Anda "membutakan" diri dari kebenaran yang ada. Andalah yang paling tahu kebiasaan, rutinitas, dan sikap-sikapnya sehari-hari. Jadi, curigalah bila semua itu berubah.

Dia mulai semakin sering memancing pertengkaran
Ini adalah alasannya untuk marah dan pergi menemui kekasih gelapnya. Namun, bisa juga dilakukan karena perasaannya yang bercampur aduk setelah menghianati Anda.

Selalu membicarakan kemungkinan hubungan Anda berdua berakhir
Waspadalah jika dia mulai sering berkata, "Apa yang kamu lakukan jika hubungan kita berakhir? Atau, "Jika sesuatu terjadi pada kita berdua, saya akan selalu menyayangi kamu sebagai teman". Asal Anda tahu, kalimat berandai-andainya itu karena ada orang lain yang akan menerimanya dengan senang hati begitu hubungan anda berdua berakhir.

Dia seperti Anda saat sedang mengalami PMS
Dia tampak senang dan bersemangat ketika akan pergi keluar rumah sendirian, dan langsung lesu serta lemas saat berada di dekat Anda.

Selera musiknya tiba-tiba berubah
Karena jadi lebih sering mendengarkan musik kesukaan "sang pacar", ia pun jadi ikut menyukai musik tersebut.

Harga dirinya rendah
Bukan berarti lalu dia pasti berselingkuh. Namun, orang-orang seperti ini umumnya cenderung mencari rasa aman dan umpan balik positif dari orang lain. Nah, salah satu cara mendapatkannya, ya, lewat perselingkuhan!

Dia terus-menerus mengkritik orang lain (lawan jenisnya)
Ini adalah usahanya untuk membuat Anda berpikir bahwa orang seperti itu bukanlah tipe favoritnya, walau sebenarnya diam-diam dia tertarik.

Dia jadi lebih sering memberi kritik pedas kepada Anda
Emosinya jadi lebih mudah terpancing terhadap komentar Anda, bahkan komentar netral sekalipun.


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11 Tips on How to Forget Your Ex

 

Most people will at some point in their life have to deal with a breakup with a partner and the emotions that comes with it. Sometimes it takes a while to get back on your feet and other times you feel better after a shorter period of time. It all depends on what type of person you are and how serious the relationship was. Here are some advice on how to make this period as bearable as possible.

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Scented Candles
• Bath Oils
• Bubble Baths
• Facial Gift Certificates
• Health Club Memberships
• Massage Gift Certificates
• Movie Rentals
• Sports Tickets 
• Chocolates

1. Talk to your friends.
   
2. Get clear with your ex. If there are a lot of unresolved issues involving money, possessions, etc., clear them up.
   
3. Distract yourself. Movies, sightseeing, outdoor activities, games and a good book are all possibilities.
   
4. Take up a new hobby or enroll in some classes.
   
5. Exercise - put your mind on something new, like training for a marathon, improving your tennis game, or working on those abs.
   
6. Work hard. Work can be a great distraction, especially if you feel like you're accomplishing something.
   
7. Indulge yourself. Chocolates, massages, facials, shopping sprees - whatever helps make you feel good about yourself.
8. Reevaluate Yourself
   One issue with breakup is that of self worth. It does not matter who's fault it was or who left who in the end we all tend to see the relationship as a failure and in turn see ourself as a failure. Many men and women hung up on their ex partners tend to either wallow in self pity or self loathing and exaggerate everything in their emotional anguish making it impossible to forget your ex because you cannot sort out your own feelings for yourself. A Journey of self discover is often what sets many people free but how this is done is so varied and dependent on the person I cannot advice anything except that concentrating on your own feelings for yourself must happen before you start trying to work out how to forget your ex, in fact this process will help forgetting them immensely!
9. Do Not Be IrrationalWe all do it at some point, we get very drunk or go out and spend more than we can afford on clothes or food or anything else we enjoy to cover our problems. This can also manifest itself in terrible outings either trying desperately to get our ex back or to try to make them jealous. In the end they are irrational actions brought about by a need to take action of some sort. Simply put ... don't do it! They may seem like a good idea or clever at the time but they are a symptom of a heart in turmoil trying to work out how to forget your ex.
10. Do Not Demonize Your Ex
    One thing that we are all tempted to do is to cast your ex in a bad light, to train yourself to hate them rather than want them back in a reactive exercise to crush any longing and pain by making them seem less desirable and unneeded. While you may envision yourself free of their influence because they will become detestable to you this creates more problems than it is worth and your new demonized feelings will be all mixed up with love making a tangle of emotions that can overwhelm, confuse and hurt you and any other relationships you may get involved with.
11. Date other people.

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